yesterday marks one year

sometimes, i can see myself in my mind's eye, walking down a bricked high street in england, stopping strangers mid-step and telling them god loves them with fire in my heart and in my eyes. i can see the figure of my body from above and i am glowing - there is a haze of yellow light around.

i loved the mission so excruciatingly much, and yesterday as i sat on the bear lake beach and thought about how exactly a year had gone by since my full-time service ended, i ached to glow like that again.

i will forever be remarkably grateful that i served a mission, and that i gave the work my whole, whole, whole heart.

it has been a crazy, wonderful year. wildly fantastic highs and the lowest of lows - divinely orchestrated, no doubt. now i have another year ahead, and a new opportunity to be triumphant in what i became as a missionary.

there is nothing like the mission. oh, how i miss it!

i like my family so much

the past week at our favourite place on earth has been positively heavenly.

moments i have extremely enjoyed:

-feeling the glow of family love and a beach bonfire at sunset, then dancing and belting out taylor swift's "love story" with my neices

-being positively exhilarated by my first waterski of the year

-swooping on the bloomington lake rope swing into water so freezing it made all my cells yell

-soaking in the spirit as we sat in a circle on the grass under the trees outside the church

-having a huge dance party at the lighthouse with everyone jamming out to chris brown's "forever"

-riding the "big mama" tube behind the boat with nieces and squealing with delight

-laughing to tears during game night

-sitting in the hot tub talking under the stars with my best friends in the world

-witnessing the powerful blessing of my newest nephew jacobson

-going for a run in the pouring rain with my sisters

-smiles overcoming my face watching the kids play

-competing in the annual beach relay race

-good talks, wicked pretty sunsets, hugs and kisses, glowing hearts, feeling deep love

i am so blessed!

there is a beautiful chapter of my life set in provo, utah

... and the chapter just ended.

a few times in the past few weeks as i've driven home from work north on the i15 at 11pm, i have found myself stunned with the beauty of the town of provo in the shadow of the majestic mountains. my fingertips have tingled as flashes of memories and discoveries i experienced in this place have shimmered through my heart.

just the other day i thought to myself in some sort of epiphany-moment - "dang! i really, really love provo!"

it's an intriguing place, that's for sure, and everyone has their opinions and/or jokes about it, which i admittedly find amusing. but the bottom line for me is that provo, utah is a fantastic locale. i spent a semester there, then a summer, and now just left behind 8 months of living and learning in happy valley. and today i feel so grateful to good ol' p-town.

it was there that i figured out so much of who i am and who i want to be.
it was there that i learned what being in love really is.
it was there that i had dozens of glorious, fun adventures - some of the best times of my life.
it was there that i made and/or developed some of the best friendships in the world.
it was there that i realized a bit of how to be resilient when my heart was broken or my spirit was dark.
it was there that i had so so many perfect, magical moments soaking in the beauty of the earth and of life - moments when i want to burst out of my skin with real joy.
it was there that i strengthened my convictions and testimony of what is real, important, sacred and eternal.
it was there that i learned about compassion, independence, affliction, empathy, hope, passion, and real love.
i have so many valuable memories there; that place and the lessons learned there have been imprinted on my heart; and for the past while it really, really has been the perfect setting for the story of my life.

so, dear provo, here's to you! thanks for everything.