happy, holy days

christmas eve and christmas day with the looslis in ogden:
traditional “jerusalem supper” on christmas eve – by candlelight and in character
(mary and joseph’s last meal before they head out on the donkey for bethlehem)


acting out the nativity story

the one gift of christmas eve (can you guess what it was?)

early the next morning:
after singing carols {loud} on the stairs to wake up parents, uncovering stocking treasures

a little excited to go downstairs to see if santa came

the big fat man in his red coat certainly delivered for these kids!

and jared got just what he asked for! purple q-tips!

eyre traditional eggs benedict for breakfast! best meal of the year.
we went to church for an hour (which was wonderful – sunday is the perfect day for christmas!)
and switched back into our pajamas immediately for more present opening!

saren and i randomly got the exact same oh-so-cozy slippers (from different people!)

super fancy christmas dinner – with christmas crackers and still pajamas!
too bad we were so full from all the treats throughout the day that we could hardly fit any turkey in!

***the very best part of the day was doing a "google plus hangout" with nearly my whole family (minus jonah and his family in hawaii). we all got on the internet with webcams and showed off our presents and shared some christmas love. shawni and her family, along with josh, were on the way to a party in arizona (and my niece was on her new longboard cruising down the street, and my 14-year-old nephew was practicing driving!), saydi was using her new mac in boston while her kids showed us what santa brought (including a real bell from his sleigh!), tal kept his camera right on new baby annina in new york city and my mom and dad and eli also waved from the big apple, and noah and his family hollered from their car somewhere in the middle of nevada (en route to utah from california). amazing. right when i went to take a screen shot of all the wonderful, wonderful chaos, our computer died! but that was by far the highlight of my christmas.***

sheesh i love christmas.

utah home, part 1

every time i come back to utah, i am astonished at how home it feels. i remember that particular, potent brand of poignant familiarity from last time, but i am still amazed.

my friend julie picked me up at the airport and we headed straight to ruth’s diner for brunch. it’s an adorable little mom-and-pop place built into an old traincar up emigration canyon, around the corner from the ‘hood i grew up in. and they have these biscuits that are outrageous. julie and i drove up the canyon after we ate, and the bleak beauty was pure splendor for my mountain-missing eyes. i picked up a car at my old house, went to see catherine, bert, and baby sam, and was astonished at how big he grew since i saw him last. i took the long way to get there, through neighborhoods of my youth and neighborhoods of my memories. i met dani downtown and we went to cafe rio – a utah favity fave. all just so home.

then i met my sister and her family at temple square – always glorious temple square. seeing the christmas lights there is a holiday tradition for everyone i know from utah. something about the bitter cold, the nativities, the christus statue, the crowds, the millions and millions of twinkling lights, the floating candles and luminaries, the magnificent temple – it is (yes, here it comes!) magical.

i don’t think salt lake city will ever cease to be authentic home. and you know what they say, “there’s no place like home for the holidays.”

merry, merry, merry christmas

for my last day at work, i got real festive. oh how i loved wishing people happy holidays from under my santa hat! some little kids whispered to their dad outside the kiosk, “look, daddy, there’s an elf!” and he replied, “why, yes, it’s a cookie elf!” my last day as a cookie elf was wonderful. i’m gonna miss that bubble.

i am in utah, which will always always be home sweet home, celebrating with my oldest sister and her family. it is, well, magical. i teared up this morning as my 6 year old nephew read this scripture in his cutest little voice: “for unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given: and the government shall be upon his shoulder: and his name shall be called wonderful, counsellor, the mighty god, the everlasting father, the prince of peace.” with all my heart i believe in and love and adore the babe of bethlehem.

here are some of my favourite words about the reason christmastime really is, really is, really is magical:

knowest thou the condescension of god?
    at the center of human history stands one event.  man reckons time in terms of it; man's destiny depends on it.  foreseen by ancient prophets and remembered by faithful followers, it is the birth of christ.
    a thousand years before a thousand years ago a holy night descended on the world.  in the darkness of bethlehem the omnipotent god became an impotent baby.  the hands that made the world and hung the stars in the sky were now just large enough to grasp a mother's finger.  no pillar of fire appeared, but the living tabernacle of god now lay cradled in a manger.  from the moment that the infant jesus gazed up into his mother's eyes, man's imagination was altered forever.   the christmas story reveals in every mother and child a holy mystery.  a vision of the pair at bethlehem hovers like a halo over all mothers and children wherever the christmas story is remembered, and in the weakness of a newborn child men feel the thrill of something beyond their power to understand. 
    for the adversary of all that is good, the arrival of the world's rightful king marked the beginning of the end.  when the lord of all the earth appeared, throughout the evil realm a shudder passed as the angel spoke: "for unto you is born this day in the city of david a savior, which is christ the lord" (lk. 2:11).  the tiny foot that one day would crush the serpent's head was already nestled in the straw. 
    the father's likeness had come at last.  did joseph and mary wonder, as they watched the little child, about the humble place of his birth?  what would be said of a god who comes not in glory but in secret, a king who came not to command but to obey?  "i came down from heaven," he later said, "not to do mine own will, but the will of him who sent me" (jn. 6:38).  this was the way of jesus; this was the way of humility.  his way was not to disclose an ideal from afar, but instead to be a servant and companion, a teacher and friend.  he began his life in a stable, that no one should ever feel too lowly to approach him.  he claimed no earthly title that nothing should separate him from those he had come to instruct.  he lived a common life, he spoke of common things.
    in the vision of a king born in a stable, attend by the animals and visited by the shepherds, i am led to the ever startling paradoxes that are the essence of the gospel: out of weakness comes strength; out of simplicity, profundity; out of humility, dignity; out of humanity, divinity.  i am freed from the judgments and vanities of the world.  i see the wisdom of its wise men perish before a deeper truth as three gifts are laid and human wisdom kneels before a little child. 
    gazing in my mind's eye at the silent holy family, i learn anew the uselessness of too much talking, too much asserting, too much questioning. in the christmas miracle I learn to be patient, to be still, to wait upon the lord.  i share the serenity of the young mother mary, who "kept all these things, and pondered them in her heart" (Lk. 2:19).
-dennis rasmussen

may we all take this magic we feel, that comes undoubtedly from that babe of bethlehem, and keep it in our hearts all through 2012.

dollhouse christmas

my roommates and i decided that we had three really good reasons to have a little party one week before christmas day: 1. the gorgeous tree we cut down deserved admiration from all our friends, 2. mindy went crazy decorating and our house looks absolutely magical and 3. i am moving out and we needed to celebrate my time in “the dollhouse” (as our home has been dubbed by members of the san francisco singles’ ward). so – we threw a classy, yummy little soiree on sunday evening and it was…dare i say?…magical.

after church, we baked for literally hours and hours. i loved every minute (and all the sneaks i took of cookie dough). we had quite the spread for our guests, including “hot cocoa stirrers” i made out of marshmallows, chocolate, candy canes and straws. i was completely obsessed with them. my new addiction to pinterest is already paying off:
 
mindy was the master baker…we were all her apprentices. beth made chex mix with santa hats made out of bugles! wow. aubrey decided no party is complete without cheez-its.
we had so many fun guests, including puppy roxy, dressed as mr. claus! he belongs to our friend andre.

stacia, amanda, banner, joe and rachel // charity and roxy
michelle, charity, josephine // steph, charity, jae (and his stache)

stacy, julie and charity

charity, steph and laura (and my hot cocoa stirrers!!!)

beth, aubrey, tim, anisha, holly, janet and emily

kevin, melissa, charity, henry and krystle

i love all the diverse friends i have here in the city. everyone is interesting and has something cool to offer. and i really, really love my roommates. we are all so different and have had so much to learn from each other. living in this house, with these women, is one of the best things fate has brought me. i will miss living here a whole lot.

i can’t decide which picture i like better…
farrah, mindy, charity, janet, beth, emily and aubrey (jana was in canada, and we missed her so much!)

really, really awkward pose – not sure what we’re trying to do here. but man, i love these girls.

after cleaning up and unplugging the lights, beth, janet, aubrey and stayed up late in the kitchen in our pjs giggling. late nights with roommates is a true happy about this season of life.

merry christmas from the dollhouse girls!

hana

my last day on the island, i rented a car and drove the famous “road to hana” to visit my friend kara. kara grew up in the remote, tiny, outlandishly lush and gorgeous town of hana, and told me if i made the trek along the narrow, windy road, she would bring me on some adventures. yes, please.

the 24 hours i spent driving to hana and back and playing with kara made for honestly one of the best days i can remember. it was almost too beautiful to be real or mortal.

i listened to hawaiian flavored versions of christmas songs as i drove through the rainforest. twangy ukulele soundtracked my cruise along cliffs and over bridges and past waterfalls and through dense green. i stopped when i felt like it, hiked along random paths, grabbed some shave ice, let the views fill me up. the clouds moved with me, just a few minutes ahead of me, and it only rained for about 2 minutes total. i was outside during one downpour and i stretched my arms out and let the warm water pelt me. thanks to the week of rain, waterfalls were streaming down the mountains, and everything looked so moist and clean and … man, it was gorgeous.

when i drove into the town of hana, slowly, looking for kara’s house, i heard her familiar voice holler “charity!” and i had arrived! if you met kara, you would be instantly blown away by how genuinely cool she is. she is both exotic, interesting cool and just-truly-a-beautiful-human cool. she’s a filmmaker and a musician, a traveler and a real individual. she has the warmest heart and goodness in all of her veins, goodness you can truly feel when you are with her. really really. she’s a goddess.

as soon as we said hi and hugged, kara said, “let’s go swimming! let’s go hiking! let’s go!” and we were off. our adventures were risky for a non-waterproff camera, so i left mine in the car and kara brought her little one in its waterproof case. then we left it in the car after our first little hike. whoopsie. these two pictures are all i have from our absolutely magically, unrealishly beautiful afternoon:

cameraless, i worked so hard to imprint the sights and experiences of the day on my mind and heart, and because of that, i don’t think i will ever forget that december 14. it was just one of those days full of those moments that completely stun you and you feel so full with goodness and beauty that you’re fit to burst. we hiked along the coast on a path of black lava cliffs and green, green vegetation, which stung my eyes against the blue, blue sea. the clouds rolled, the waves crashed and gurgled, kara told me ancient hawaiian legends and historical facts, and i couldn’t stop sighing at the sensations of it all.

it started raining as we hiked back to the black sand beach, and we walked down a path to some caves filled with crystal clear water and dove in. kara brought candles in a mason jar and we lit them in a corner of the caves and let them float in the water. the rain pinged on the exposed part of the water. we held the candles as we swam back in the caverns, and kara told me about the myth of the princess who hid there. we climbed up through the caves to an opening that put us back on the path, picked ginger flowers, and prowled through the rainforest back to the car.

it rained hard for about three minutes as we drove to another beach, and then stopped just as we got out of the car. we walked along the beach, then over some rocks to another secluded beach, and the waves roared. the sun was setting behind us. the light was otherworldly. the beauty made the air so thick that it seemed like gel we were wading through. we walked along a meadow, the powerful sea on one side and the majestic, misty mountains on the other, the clouds above us golden and the sun behind us making the world glow. we came across a waterfall that had appeared with the rain, one kara had never seen before. oh my goodness, it was all magic. it was unreal.

as we walked back along the meadow, and picked up coral, and cracked open nuts that had fallen from a big wide tree, and the wind blew our hair, i etched that scene onto my memory. it reminded me of a passage in my favourite book, a tree grows in brooklyn: francie stood on tiptoe and stretched her arms wide. 'oh, i want to hold it all!' she cried. 'i want to hold the way the night is … i want to hold all of it tight until it hollers out, "let me go! let me go!"' i literally scooped my arms around that hawaiian evening that surrounded me and tried this: she decided to fix this time in her life exactly the way it was this instant. perhaps that way she could hold on to it as a living thing and not have it become something called a memory. there is a living thing in me now, that slice of time: the surging waves, the luscious clouds, kara’s freckled face, the sponginess of the grass, the energy of the earth rumbling under my feet.

we ate traditional laulaus, went to the town’s christmas celebration at the school, and that night i fell asleep to kara playing the guitar and singing (one of the best, sweetest, most wonderful sounds in the world) and rain pattering on the roof.

as i drove away from hana early in the morning, and the sun rose, and things were golden again, my heart literally hurt because it was so devastatingly beautiful. no picture or words can do. i feel like all this description is so overly “dripping with passion,” but i promise it’s so real, not just drama. the earth and mortal life can be and is that devastatingly beautiful – in fact, i think those moments are the realest of all living.

i stopped for a couple minutes at a beach lookout before i went to the airport to fly back to the mainland. i let the sun seep through my clothes and warm my back, watched the surfers, sucked maui into my pores, and then headed home, completely, completely full.