just sayin...

simple pleasures are what the good life is made of. i got a bed two days ago. i wake up in the morning literally giddy that i'm not on the floor and i can see out the window. when i realize i'm in san francisco i sigh dramatically and smile.

on saturday i met ellen at dolores park and we went to the party on block 18 street fair. a band consisting of a ukulele, a trombone and a kazoo played quirky music and the road was bursting with life. for lunch i had watermelon with chile, mint and feta cheese. neat!

i saw ashton kutcher at lunch at the ferry building on wednesday. seriously, what a thrill!

for family home evening, i went to santa cruz and met my cousin and his family at the beach boardwalk. it was absolutely splendid. vintage rides lit up with big colorful bulbs, one dollar hot dogs and roasted corn, swinging over the sea and sand, cotton candy and chocolate dipped ice cream cones. loved it.

today i drove down lombard street on the way home, just for kicks and giggles. me and my car will appear in dozens of tourists' photo albums within the next couple of months.

i slept in a tent in the presidio on friday night. excellent, cold, windy adventure. fire and camp songs, woods, ocean views from the campsite, hot chocolate and grilled pizzas. delight.

in the a.m. we did yoga on baker beach. perfect beyond perfect. the backdrop was the waves, sail boats, and gleaming gg bridge. the sand was deliciously warm under the morning sun.

this morning i had two interviews. in trying to look professional, i realized my fingernails were painted bright yellow. polish remover - i have none. so i did a double coat of yellow so at least it's not chipping. who doesn't want to hire someone with very yellow fingernails??

the interviews went well. not sure if either is the job for me, but it was good practice and i feel empowered. 2 interesting things to note: 1-all i'll say is, the only time i've said a legit bad word was in a job interview and 2-the head honcho of the hedge fund i went to today happens to be a disillusioned mormon. small world!

i love when i have some random free time in between babysitting or job-search-related meetings to find a random park bench or sit in a little corner cafe and read.

monday i had a perfect brunch downtown with jane. sunny and yummy with one so, so dear. we walked to the restaurant and back talking like you can only with your best best friend as the world of san francisco passed by on either side. our last outing while she's still single!

i got a fastrack (a little machine you stick on your windshield to pay the toll as you cross the bridge so you don't have to have cash with you) the other day. as i drove across the bay bridge back into the city i went in the fastrack only lane and it made a little beep and the sign flashed go and i felt like such a local! random little thing that made me happy.

and that view as one drives across the bay bridge! i think for me it will never, ever get old! i always scramble to make sure i have a good, up-beat song on when the vista shows up at the curve of the bridge.

on thursday i popped in kara's cupcakes to get some treats to bring to book club. a dozen mini cupcakes, please. they were so, so cute. and well-enjoyed by me and six friends (four new, two old) as we discussed a book i haven't started yet (oops), dating websites, the best restaurants in san francisco, and the like.

just sayin'. life is good.

open your golden gates

i am in love with my life. which frankly seems a little weird considering that i have thrown myself into a really foreign place and a very unknown future. but it makes me feel so empowered to feel happy living this dream, on my own.

i somehow feel triumphant in my loneliness and independence. knowing my personality thrives off the affirmation of friends and social interaction, i just find it invigorating and exciting that my heart is so glad traversing the city on my lonesome.

yes, i'm hankering to have a job and working hard on the search, but i have to admit it has been really nice to be able to explore a bit without a schedule in the glorious weather heaven has blessed this city with the past week.

i am happy! i am a bit surprised to be so happy! i am so happy to be happy.

last night i noticed the sun blazing up in the west driving home, so i decided to take the long way home and stop at the cliffs above baker beach to watch the sunset. i sat there and let the salty air play with my hair as the sky evolved, night approached, and the iconic bridge lit up to sparkling. (these pictures don't do the fantastic, fantastic scene justice but will have to suffice, and yes, the last one is a self-timer - one of the joys of solo sightseeing!)

i have been babysitting a little, and having a tiny bit of income while job hunting has been a great blessing. it's great to get paid to play with cute kids! i took these two little darlings to the crissy field beach today. it was so splendid with that red bridge and all the wind surfers, and the kiddos were a little amused by how i whooped and hollered at the glorious sight. it turned out to be way too windy to really be fun for more than a half an hour, but still! i loved it.

indeed, every time i see the golden gate bridge i can't help but think that it is smiling at me.

oh my goodness i love it here!

on tuesday around noon, i sent off a few job applications and, with a sigh, looked at the big bay window in my bedroom. a tickle of delight arrived when i realized i could see the ocean! the clouds had parted - even in my neighborhood! immediately, i knew i had to get out of the house, and within 90 seconds i was in my car set to discover the scenic drive i had noticed on my sf map.

i rolled along the streets of this dazzling city and the day turned out to be out-of-this-world splendid. i guess in times like that i should be grateful that i don't have a job - if the sun's out i can gleefully go enjoy!

the scenic drive brought me to the top of twin peaks, through haight-ashbury and golden gate park, down sunset blvd and up the great highway along the coast, into the presidio and down to baker beach, and then along the marina stocked with boats gleaming in the sunshine. it was a glorious-beyond-glorious day.

and in several perfect moments, when my eyes beheld a vista overflowing with beauty and charm, my stomach fluttered, the blood ran to the end of my veins, and tears appeared at the lips of my eyes. i was so happy i shed a tear or two! because my soul told me that not only is this city fabulous and gorgeous, but it is mine. this is where i belong. this is my place. what an exquisite feeling!

as if things couldn't quite get better, later on when i saw the sky light up from that same bedroom window, i jumped in the car again and cruised down to ocean beach (just a 5 minute ride away!) and watched the sunset on a blanket on the sand. i was sort of freaking out with gladness.

my journal entry for the day looked like this -

17 august 2010 - OH MY GOODNESS I LOVE IT HERE!!!

i really, really do.

it's a miracle!

...the sun came out in san francisco.

on saturday i met up for brunch with two of my dear friends from wellesley, josephine and ellen. it was so good to reconnect and enjoy yummy food and right as we were paying the bill, the clouds parted and a glorious beam of sunshine landed right smack dab on our table!

we decided to revel in the blue sky by getting bread pudding at tartine (san fran's equivalent of nyc's magnolia bakery?) and hanging out on the grass at dolores park. we chatted and people watched and enjoyed the general merriment of the atmosphere.

hurrah! hurrah! the sun came out!

on my way home as i drove up a (very san francisco) steep windy hill, i caught a glimpse in my rear-view mirror of the incredible view behind me. i immediately pulled over, parked, ran across the street, and squealed to myself at the beauty of the sight. it's the first time since i've been here that i've had a clear view of the bay. it was literally breathtaking - and the picture just doesn't do it justice.

in other news, i have a cankle (as in calf that blends into ankle, making a tree-trunk leg). yes that's right, and just one. i cut my leg and it got infected and apparently the infection spread and my body sent lots of blood to my ankle and foot to try to fight it off. it really freaked me out at first but now i mostly find the lopsidedness of my feet to be very amusing. i'm on antibiotics and hoping the swelling will go down soon! bazaar. but an interesting story from my first days in sf, right?

a sunny, effulgent day in the city (oh, and the bread pudding) just convinced me that the sweet definitely outweighs the sour in this roller-coaster of a new life i've started.

i'm a san fran girl

a few days ago, as i was making my way through the electric busy streets of downtown san francisco, i got a text from a dear friend, sharing an uplifting quote.

 "when you push against the boundaries of experience into the twilight of the unknown, the lord will strengthen you. the beauty of your eternal soul will begin to unfold." -richard g. scott

i love that. and it was just what i needed in that moment, feeling like a little lost lamb in a sea of metropolis. i believe what elder scott said is true, and i'm holding onto that hope and assurance as i navigate my way through a new life. because for me, it seems there is no other way to live than consistently pushing against those boundaries of experience, because the twilight of the unknown is so much more sparkly and exciting than the static of what's comfortable and the same.

 the truth is, i really really like it here. my spirit keeps whispering to my mind that i am in the right place and that for now, this is truly where i belong. i keep getting the feeling that things are going to work out (perhaps later than sooner, but still) and that in a while i will have found a glorious home in this beautiful place. i like the diversity of people here, i like the farmers' markets and the jacket weather and the organic food craze and the brown paper bags at the grocery store. i like the magnolia and kumquat trees, the hills and the spirit of free spirits. i like the bay bridge and the golden gate bridge and the kitschy shops and the eclectic neighborhoods. i like that there is so much for me to discover. although i am jobless and relatively friendless, i like that i'm here and that i know that emptiness will change with time.

after i got that brilliant tender mercy of a text, i wandered around san fran for a while. i just followed my heartbeat and my natural steps and found myself on top of telegraph hill at coit tower and i went to the top for a little glance over the city. it was foggy. but it was still thrilling. just little me on top of this tower in this city. i'm a san fran girl. 

sights i saw wandering around the city

views from the top of coit tower

i'm learning to be patient with myself and with the process. i do like it here but in many ways life feels lonely, scary and hard. hard is good. yes, hard is good! hard is also hard. but like elder scott said, "when was anything really worthwhile easy?" and eventually "there are those golden moments of success that make all of the hardships worthwhile." they're coming. i can feel it in my bones.

yesterday i drove across the golden gate bridge! it sent a delightful thrill down my spine! 

here's where i sleep. i put together that dresser all by myself! quite the feat. hopefully i will have a real bed soon. more pictures of the house coming!

foggy

i've heard this quote 10 times in the last 2 days: "the coldest winter i ever saw was the summer i spent in san francisco" -mark twain.

clearly mark had never spent a winter in boston or southern england, but still, the man has a point.

it is foggy and frigid in the city.

i live in san francisco.

my house is in an uber cool neighborhood, has stained glass windows, a bright yellow vinyl couch, hardwood floors throughout and pretty vintage doorknobs.

two of my roommates are boys - that's a new one! my roommates are hardly ever home. most of them are super artsy.

i can see the ocean from my bedroom window.

my bathroom is tiled in all vivid purple and the floor of the shower is tiled in a burgundy flowery design. i think that's my favourite thing about the house.

the hill i live on is steep.

at the bottom of said hill is ocean avenue, lined with shops. this morning i took a run down there and happened upon a great little mediterrean sandwich shop. the owner called every customer "my friend" in his middle eastern accent and had a 100-watt smile.

i've spent all but a few hours since i've been here sitting on my air mattress with my computer working on the job hunt.

i'm already finding starting this new life to be socially exhausting, but it's good.

i drove across the bay bridge the other day to go to ikea and my spirit almost leaped out of my skin with the thrill of watching the san francisco skyline flutter by and thinking "this is my city. this is my home."

the evenings i have spent in palo alto with anita and new friends have been delightful.

i live in the same city as my best friend again and that feels good.

this place is so unlike anywhere i have ever lived before.

people are good. i am so grateful for their willingness to help.

the city girl inside me is loving the feeling of metropolis. the social girl inside me feels a little lonely and is anxious to meet more people when the weekend comes, while the independent girl inside me is actually reveling in freedom of schedule and attachments.

mostly, the sky is gray and my mind is foggy.

but my heart is bright, anticipating many glorious things to come.

yes, san fran is the perfect setting for the next chapter of the story of my life. may it be a great read.

californiaaaaaa, here we cooooome

the long, lethargic, glittering days at bear lake are over. this morning i said goodbye to the last of my siblings to leave with tears on the lips of my eyes and realized this crazy era of family pandemonium, beach-bumming and sunshine has really ended. we had such a satisfying and full month together and everyone is excited to get back to their homes and lives, but it is still a bit sad to say goodbye. i adore my family with an exquisite, unique love.

now, for me, a new life is ahead. i am in the peculiar town of reno, nevada. my wonderful, wonderful sister-in-law anita is driving out to san fran with me, and i am so grateful i get to embark on this journey with her. we drove for eight hours today though what really seemed like the most continuously barren landscape in the world and are excited to hit lush california in the morning.

you know how when you approach a big transition in life, you try to imagine or picture the future and what it will be like? i have been doing just that, but seriously the picture is totally blank. i don't know what to expect, and it's a little bit scary, i admit. nonetheless, my heart is pumping blood through my veins that is strewn with fond anticipation and a tickling thrill for the mysterious future. i know it will be hard, and i love hard things. so i am going to practice my gumption and take this leap of faith with triumph. why not?