a heaven-sent serendipity

it just so happened that my sister saren and her family were in southern california the same saturday as me! they had just finished a cruise that left from and returned to long beach, so we made plans to meet up in san diego. it was so great to be able to spend some time with them after my race. i love these looslis so so so!

we went to pt. loma (how have i never been there before in other trips to san diego?? it is absolutely breathtaking – views of the vast ocean on one side and the city and mountains on the other – blew me away), some cool tidepools, and the sea lion beach in la jolla.
{somehow there’s no pictures of jared or ashton! but they were there too.}

 

golden hour was delicious, and the sunset was so lush. saren and i are the bookends of our family – oldest and youngest – and i love that we get to be such beloved sisterfriends will all those siblings in between. she’s the most amazing woman, i tell you. love love loved being with her and her family – that saturday afternoon was a heaven-sent serendipity.

i’ve now run a marathon

…right? two halves = a whole? okay…not really in this case.

but i did complete my second round of 13.1 miles last sunny saturday in san diego, and i beat my time from my first round, back in november 2012. and it felt like fantastic, delicious triumph.

as i ran (for one hour, forty seven minutes and forty seconds), i reflected on everything that has happened since i previously conquered this distance – it certainly has been a wild fifteen months. and as my legs kept moving and my heart kept pumping and i pushed myself faster and stronger, i felt healing in my veins.

during the last half mile, i ran to the rhythm of a song that said:
the dog days are over, the dog days are done, the horses are coming, so you better run
run fast for your mother, run fast for your father; run for your children, for your sisters and brothers
leave all your love and your longing behind - you can't carry it with you if you want to survive
and i decided run to leave some things behind and run with gratitude for what’s here and what’s ahead.

as i turned the corner to cross the finish line, i was surprised to feel totally choked up with the emotion of triumph that felt so much bigger than running a race. i sprinted the last stretch with blurred vision and every little bit of me was alive.

brittany was also in san diego for the weekend and came to cheer me on at the finish line! can you believe what a beautiful, bright day it was (as evidenced by the squinty eyes…)?? we sat on the grass and ate free finish line food and then went to brunch at a cute little cafe in mission bay.

the dog days are over. the dog days are gone.

business travel, and aslan

on wednesday evening, i flew to san diego with three co-workers for a conference. the mid-week change of scenery and schedule was good for my soul. also, i think my colleagues are pretty rad. we had a good time learning about exciting ways to use our online student information system, exploring the gaslamp quarter of the city, and doing work while watching the olympics in a hotel room. i quite like business travel.

i stayed in san diego an extra day, so after the conference was over on friday afternoon, i strolled solo along the waterfront and then through little italy. i practiced aloneness without lonliness.

i sat on a bench overlooking san diego bay at sunset, sipped coconut steamed milk and worked on finishing my book, the horse and his boy (i am working on an item on my bucket list – reading all the chronicles of narnia). i read the most beautiful chapter, where the lion aslan makes his first appearance in this, the third book of the series.

the boy shasta has found himself alone in a dark and unfamiliar place, riding an aimless horse through dripping trees and icy winds, a heavy heart pushing tears down his cheeks, not knowing at all where the road he is moving along is leading. he notices sounds that indicate that some creature is walking beside him in the dark, but his fear of this unknown fellow traveler is dispelled as their conversation begins. the creature tells shasta that he is the lion that has intercepted his journey in several previous scenarios, and helps the boy to understand that those interceptions seemed hostile but were in fact in shasta’s best interest – for example, the lion chased shasta and his friends to give them “strength of fear” to get some place just in time to give a crucial warning to many in danger.  the lion walks with shasta through the dark and cold until it is morning, and it is from this great, golden beast that the light of day is generated.

i believe that i always have a fellow traveler along dark, dripping roads with very uncertain destinations. and i’m figuring out more and more how my journey leading to and from those roads has been intercepted in ways that have seemed terrible but actually are pushing me through experiences that miraculously precipitate eventual glory.

comfort food and words

josephine and i have started a little mid-week tradition of making pizza together (last week we had to mix it up a little since i was juicing!). a couple of weeks ago we made butternut squash and sage pizza, and tonight we made lemon, blackberry and prosciutto pizza. mmmm boy. (i should’ve taken a picture either/both times – our pies have been tasty & pretty!)

i mean, here’s the thing. i’m pretty sure i love pizza more than 90% of the world population. i think it’s the best kind of comfort food, and it makes me feel really happy. no matter what happens, i’ve always got pizza…!

and while remembering this quote tonight, i remembered several others i’ve found encouraging lately. (my mom is the sweetest and sends me emails loaded with good quotes.) here’s some wednesday inspiration:

we have no right to ask when sorrow comes, "why did this happen to me?" unless we ask the same question for every moment of happiness that comes our way. 
-author unknown

we must embrace pain and burn it as fuel for our journey. 
-kenji miyazawa

 

a bend in the road is not the end of the road... unless you fail to make the turn. 
-author unknown

the future is as bright as your faith.
-thomas s. monson

also – this song. it’s on repeat in my head! keeps me feeling positive:

hard luck

sometimes i just feel like i am served up a solid bout of hard luck. and although i have so, so much to be grateful for (even or especially the hard stuff) and truly strive to see the good in everything (because it’s there!), there are periods of times where the tough really piles up and it just feels crappy.

january was not my best month. in the midst of emotional dullness and sharpness, my brand new iphone screen shattered, i developed an ulcer on my eyeball (yes, that’s a thing, and the antibiotics are very expensive!), work became incredibly overwhelming, i learned that i will need to buy a new car (very complicated dmv situation), and some exciting plans to look forward to fell through. {this feels really complainy, and i know – first world problems}

i’m just glad a new month has come. in february, i am going to push myself to chose happiness and relish challenges. i am going to decide to be empowered rather than saddened by aloneness. i am going to practice living in the present rather than worrying about the past or the future.

yesterday, after recognizing the blossoming splendor of a glorious and clear day at temple hill, i spent four and a half hours in the temple. completely shut off from the world, i got to peer into peace and perspective, and i felt tranquil and alive interacting with beautiful people striving to be good. i think that first day of a new month started things off well to kiss the hard luck goodbye.

juicing!

i’m in the middle of a three day juice cleanse. i really like this challenge and the feeling of my body being rejuvenated by nutrients from the earth.

{i did a six day cleanse nearly two years ago, and i can’t believe it’s taken me this long to do another. i finally bought myself my own juicer.}

another thing i like about juicing is the fun of making up random combinations of fruits and vegetables. so far i’ve made orange-grapefruit-cucumber, cantaloupe-carrot-pineapple, apple-pear-spinach and honeydew-kiwi-celery. there’s some strawberry-carrot-mango in my fridge for tomorrow and i’m also excited to try sweet potato-red bell pepper-apple-ginger.

although i am sometimes really, awfully bad at it, i super believe in mindful eating. food and the human body are both so glorious!

six things i’m loving lately

1. january in palo alto
the weather was positively glorious this weekend. on saturday i went on a bike ride with a friend from our neighborhood through the luscious, sun-drenched, tree-lined streets leading to downtown palo alto. we ate lunch outside on a pretty patio – it was just so lovely! i took a long run along the alpine trail in portola valley that evening at sunset. sunday morning i woke up and hiked in the hills above that same trail, and it was balmy and verdant and so pleasant. not bad at all for the last week in january.

2. running and my body
i am training for my second half marathon, which i will run on february 8 in san diego. i am just amazed by and so grateful for my healthy body. like most (all?) women, i often wish my body looked differently in some way or another, but – seriously! – it is magnificent! i love love love the feeling i have after finishing a long run (i don’t always love the feelings before finishing!).

3. following humansofny on instragram
i had seen the humans of new york website before, but now that i follow the project on instragram, i get to peek into the beautiful and diverse lives of strangers every day. i just adore reading tidbits of people’s stories, and feeling an undeniable connection of the human family, just from simple images and words. here are a couple of my recent favourites.
  

4. oatmeal/almond butter/banana “cookies”
i have seen all kinds of recipes for sugar-free, gluten-free cookies, and have tried quite a few, but i finally found one that i really love and that really works!
mix: 3 super-ripe bananas, 1 tablespoon vanilla, 3/4 cup almond butter (can also use peanut butter), 3 tablespoons maple syrup (or a mix of maple syrup and honey), 2 cups oats, 1/2 cup almond meal (can also use any type of flour), 1 teaspoon baking powder, and a dash of salt (can also add chocolate chips)
bake at 350 for 15 minutes!

(recipe adapted from here)

5. hearing about my students’ middle school love drama
i’ve reached a level of trust with several groups of students at my school that allows them to let me in a little on their love lives, which is awesome. “ms. eyre,” they call out to me at lunch, “jennifer got back together with salvador. he told her he couldn’t eat or sleep unless she took him back!” one student is keeping me updated on his romance with a girl that goes to another school – “ms. eyre, my girlfriend told me she wants to hold hands, but i don’t feel ready yet. i’m not going to do it until i feel ready.”

6. this song and this song and this song
the first one - i didn’t even know it was one direction until i was hooked! and the second one – it’s constantly on repeat, because it feels like it is soothing my heart. and the third one – it’s just so devastatingly beautiful; it’s what i listen to when i feel it’s important to feel deeply sad for a little bit. hits the spot.

here’s to a sunny, rejuvenating weekend and a i’m-determined-it-will-be-awesome week ahead!

middle school bathroom stall inspiration

it was the p.s. that really convinced me to love myself :)

every single day lately, i feel a lot of struggle to get out of bed
(before the sun comes up!) and get to work.
but every single day,
the second the first “good mornings” are exchanged with my students,
i am glad i am awake and there.

streaming grace

saydi and i went to see “graced with light,” an art installation made up of twenty miles of colorful ribbons in san francisco’s grace cathedral. i got to play with my new camera (eeek sooo excited about it!) as we walked under the cascading hues wrapped up in the gentle peace of the airy, hallowed church. those colors, that light, those patterns – they just soothed the soul.

i loved the way the sun outside sent spattered dazzling colors onto the cold, achromatic stone while the tints and tones of the ribbons seeped through the empty, ebony nave. it reminded me that brilliant color and gleaming light can infuse any darkness.

as i stood surrounded in color in a place named for grace, i felt hope stream like the ribbons.

{i just learned that another element of this installation is video projection, which happens during the weekly yoga on the labyrinth class at the cathedral – so i’ll have to go back!}

sisterlove

on saturday morning at 7am, the buzzing of my phone woke me up. it was my sister saydi, calling from boston. i figured she forgot to factor in the time change, and i drowsily silenced the call. when she called again, i was a little annoyed that i wasn’t left to sleep in when i have such early weekday mornings! when the phone rang the third time, i groggily answered, “hey sayd, is everything okay?”

she told me that she had just booked a plane ticket and was leaving her house in half an hour, and that she’d be here at 8:45pm, if that was okay with me.

what an act of pure sisterlove!! saydi woke up, read a sorrowing email i’d sent the night before, arranged for the care of her husband and four children, and went to the airport. i am tremendously touched by her decision to come, and enormously imbued with love and strength from her visit.

i still can’t believe this happened! and i’ll never be able to belive how blessed i am to have this sisterlove.

on sunday we walked the dish, explored stanford campus and attended the end of a beautiful service in memorial church. it was such a pretty, bright day. saydi listened and empathized and taught and loved and shared and made me laugh. it was just such, such a beautiful thing to be together in this place in time and space.

i’ll forever cherish this time we spent together.

we went to church looking like sisters – colorful clothes and the exact same bag. after church we went straight to the beach and made it just in time for the most glorious sunset. gosh it was incredible. these pictures just don’t do it any justice! the last hues of day crawled over the waves and the mist and the clouds and the sand and it really was like a little slice of heaven on earth. 

on monday, we went to the city, and we couldn’t have ordered up a better day. we ran nine miles from the ferry building, along the piers, past the marina and crissy field, across the golden gate bridge and down the hill into sausalito. it was so exhilarating and awesome. we took the ferry back and being on the open bay with all that wind in our hair was so invigorating, so curative and emboldening.

we ate delicious food at the ferry building and then drove to the tippy top of nob hill to check out the ribbons installation at grace cathedral (more on that later). we sat in the park on the grass under the sun and talked. we went home, showered, and shared my favourite meal in the world.

and then, all too soon, this miraculous, exquisite weekend was over.

i just feel completely at a loss for words to explain what this weekend with my sister meant to me. i am so blessed and so grateful.