on growing up

on saturday morning, i met lisa and mccaye and their babies for brunch in burlingame.

our childhood homes are within a few streets of each other. we went to church together every sunday for over fifteen years. we went to girls’ camp together five summers in a row. i have old family videos featuring plays i made up with lisa and her sister christine when we were preschoolers; when i reach back into my earliest memories i remember many days playing at their house. i don’t remember when mccaye’s family moved into the house at the top of my street – because i was so young; she was always at the top of the hill. i was one grade ahead of lisa and mccaye in school, but we were always neighborhood buddies.

these girls and i – we grew up together. truly. 

now lisa lives in palo alto with her husband and babygirl, and mccaye lives in san francisco with her husband and babyboy (we were roommates in the city for a little bit!). i hadn’t met either of their little ones, so we met up about halfway between their homes and had a great time catching up.

and as i drove across the clear blue bay to oakland after our brunch, the nostalgic, astounding feeling of growing up washed over me. it felt like yesterday that we were babies, and now these dear friends have babies of their own. i never cease to be amazed by the swift and steady way time keeps moving, how chapters of life bleed into one another and we evolve. that whole phenomenon sometimes feels so aching, but it is also so very beautiful.

i went to oakland to go inside the temple, but it was unexpectedly (for me at least!) closed. i walked through the courtyard and up to the terrace. i sat on a warm bench under a tree overlooking the wide, clear bay (i wish pictures did the view from the temple justice). it was so quiet and there was a soft breeze and the sky was just so blue and awake. i thought about growing up and becoming, and about how wrenching mortality has seemed lately – how painfully beautiful my most recent bit of growing up has been.

 

and i resigned to the acknowledgement that chapter will continue to lead to chapter and my soul will keep collecting more wrinkles. i decided that as time keeps moving, i will deliberately keep growing up – yes, continually growing and continually growing upwards.

beauty for ashes

 

"almost three years ago, a devastating fire gutted the interior of the beloved historic tabernacle in provo, utah. its loss was deemed a great tragedy by both the community and church members. many wondered  - why did the lord let this happen? surely he could have prevented the fire or stopped its destruction. ten months later, during the october 2011 general conference, there was an audible gasp when president monson announced that the nearly destroyed tabernacle was to become a holy temple, a house of the lord. suddenly we could see what the lord had always known. he didn't cause the fire, but he allowed the fire to strip away the interior. he saw the tabernacle as a magnificent temple, a permanent home for making sacred, eternal covenants.

the lord allows us to be tried and tested, sometimes to our maximum capacity. we have seen our lives figuratively burned to the ground and have wondered why a loving heavenly father has allowed things to happen. but he doesn't leave us in the ashes. he stands with open arms, eagerly inviting us to come to him. he is building our lives into magnificent temples, where his spirit can dwell eternally."

-linda s. reeves

 

 

2 for verily i say unto you, blessed is he that keepeth my commandments, whether in life or in death; and he that is faithful in tribulation, the reward of the same is greater in the kingdom of heaven.
3 ye cannot behold with your natural eyes, for the present time, the design of your god concerning those things which shall come hereafter, and the glory which shall follow after much tribulation.
4 for after much tribulation come the blessings. wherefore the day cometh that ye shall be crowned with much glory; the hour is not yet, but is nigh at hand.
5 remember this, which i tell you before, that you may lay it to heart, and receive that which is to follow.

-d&c 58

3 to appoint unto them that mourn in zion, to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the lord, that he might be glorified.
-isaiah 61

4 every valley shall be exalted, and every mountain and hill shall be made low: and the crooked shall be made straight, and the rough places plain:
5 and the glory of the lord shall be revealed, and all flesh shall see it together: for the mouth of the lord hath spoken it.
31 but they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.
-isaiah 40

my favourite meal in the world

last night  i met my old coworker katherine at dishdash, a restaurant in sunnyvale that features my favourite meal in the entire world on its menu. honestly, this is the last meal i want to eat before i die. it is so freaking delicious. when i know i am going to have it soon, i can’t get it off my mind. and when i’m eating it, maybe i get a little misty and say how much i love it about fifty times. mmmmm boy.


it’s called beriani dejaj and it is safron rice with chicken, potatoes, chickpeas, almonds and golden raisins in the most delectable spiced yogurt sauce.
{definitely stole this picture from yelp}

as i drove home in the dark, my belly so happy, i thought about how blessed i was to work with katherine at innosight institute, what an amazing and wonderful experience that job was. and i thought about how i am in the right place now, and about how somehow all of this craziness that has been my life, which has felt so lost and floundering so often, is guided by a divine hand.

…and while we are talking about spectacular food…
last week i made a big pot of my sister saren’s curried chicken, ginger and apple soup, and i was reminded how much i love that recipe. i ate a serving for nearly every meal all week, and loved every bite. that soup is so hearty and aromatic and lovely and it tastes like fall.

so i wanted to share the recipe!


{picture from saren’s blog}

curried chicken, ginger and apple soup
1 tsp. olive oil
1 pound boneless skinless chicken breasts (about 3 big breasts)
1 large onion, chopped
5 crushed/chopped garlic cloves
1 medium green pepper and one yellow bell pepper, chopped
1 1/2 tbsp curry powder
1 tbsp grated fresh ginger (or bottled crushed ginger)
1/2 tsp red or black pepper
1 tsp salt
5 cups chicken broth/stock (can use bouillon cubes to make this)
2 15 oz. cans or one 28 oz can of diced tomatoes (the whole can with the juice)
2 apples, chopped in small chunks (granny smith works best - the crisper the better!)
1 cup rice
cilantro and plain greek yogurt for garnish

saute everything down to the broth/stock together in large soup pot until chicken isn’t pink anymore and onion is tender. then add the chicken stock, rice and diced tomatoes. bring to a boil, then reduce to a simmer. simmer for about 20 minutes (until rice is tender), then add the apples and cook about 8 minutes or until apples are somewhat soft and rice is done.
serve with a garnish of chopped cilantro and a dollop of plain greek yogurt

baby hungry

lately i have been feeling especially baby hungry.

every time i see a baby i just want to scoop it up and snuggle.

i miss my nieces and nephews, particularly baby zara -->

on monday i got a bit of a baby fix by visiting my cousins ben and ashley and cuddling up their baby clara.

i profoundly crave something about that straight-from-heaven goodness.

i love babies.

i want one.  

loveliness under the gazebo

it just may have been our most lovely dinner party yet.

to say farewell to summer, brittany and i hosted a fancy little picnic for friends at elizabeth gamble gardens. we set up our table, chairs and spread of yummy eats under the gazebo amidst the flowers. it was an adventure dissembling and reassembling the table, transporting all the food and china safely, and dodging the wedding festivities happening on the other side of the park. passersby were amused and delighted to see our set up, including one employee of the public garden.

it poured all day long until about 4pm, when the clouds parted to sweet blue skies, just in the nick of time. it was so splendid to eat outside surrounded in beauty, enjoying good company and scrumptious treats. it was a winsome, charming, just oh so lovely evening.

 

on the menu:
-green salad with pears, avocado, pecans and cranberry gorgonzola vinegarette – herbed brie, apricot pistachio chevre, and sharp cheddar with rosemary crackers – fresh berries – quinoa salad with tomatoes, cucumber, yellow pepper, and feta – pressed sopressata, mozzarella and pesto picnic sandwiches – honeydrop cookies, homemade macarons and sugar-dusted lady fingers – 

   

the splendor of the location and the tastes was amplified by the fantastic company – wonderful, beautiful friends.

yes, perfectly lovely indeed. goodbye and thank you, summer!

{other brittany/charity dinner parties : st. patrick’s day / good friday / midsummer night / pioneer day / fall fete / saint lucia day / springtime in paris}

the goodness of girlfriends

i am so, so grateful for amazing women in my life that are true, good and fun friends.

last weekend some of us east palo alto girls celebrated brittany’s birthday in the city. the plan was to get some deliciousness from pizzeria delfina and bring it up to twin peaks for a beautiful, sparkly view picnic. well, we got to twin peaks and had an authentic san francisco experience – it was ridiculously foggy, plus the wind was surging and teeny tiny raindrops were flying.

so, naturally, we crammed all seven of us into one car and ate our pizza overlooking the fog, the wind audibly swirling and twirling outside our windows.

   

for the first time in a long time, i laughed until tears ran down my face. and then went to bob’s for fresh, pillowy donuts and cartons of milk.

 

i slept over at my dear friend stephanie’s house that night. we stayed up until 2am talking and drinking herbal tea with her roommate (another friend from my san francisco days). those wee hours with good girlfriends are a true joy of life for me.

i woke up in the morning in a city – which made my heart glad. i walked out the door and i was somewhere. i took the train and the bus to north beach and my spirit felt alive. i met up with my sf pledge class for a three-years-in-the-bay-celebration-brunch.

 

there’s nothing we do better together than eat together. we caught up (as per usual, going around the table giving updates), reminisced on the last three years, and talked about how great it is to live in this place. and we also loved on those banana coconut fritters, that deviled egg sandwich and burata tart, some salmon eggs benedict and french toast with broiled peaches.

then we walked through north beach down to the waterfront.

 

we got ice cream and then sat and laid on the luscious grass in front of ghiradelli square, exchanged more thoughts and soaked up the sun (it was the most glorious of san francisco days), and saw an america’s cup sailing race while we were at it. it’s amazing to think of everything that has happened in the past three years. the four of us will always have a bond from moving to the city the same summer.

 

kelsey and i did some more exploring around the marina and back in her neighborhood, and then i went back to steph’s, hung out with her until we both headed down to palo alto for a party together.

i am so, so grateful for amazing women in my life that are true, good and fun friends.

emotional/physical

yesterday i had a work meeting in berkeley. i had heard about a cool and huge grocery store called berkeley bowl and decided to go check it and grab some food for the week after the meeting. holy cow. it was outrageous - piles and piles of fresh produce as far as the eye can see! long aisles stocked with bulk bins of every grain, granola, nut, dried fruit, specialty item imaginable! foods i had never heard of; combinations i had never thought of! - truly a grocery wonderland. i browsed and shopped in awe. i wish it was closer to my house or work so i could experiment with all kinds of berkeley bowl finds.

 

  

as my last few posts have probably made pretty clear, i've had food on the mind lately. i love pretty much everything about food - experiencing new tastes, trying different recipes, appreciating how aesthetically beautiful food can be, feeling grateful that god gave us taste buds and the mechanics of food as fuel.

i am also absolutely an emotional eater. and last week i felt very emotionally charged. i abandoned my healthy habits and tried to quell my emotional hunger and hurt with a lot of candy and ice cream and pizza and whatever other food - with no regard for nutrition - crossed my path. of course that all made me feel awful physically to match how i felt emotionally. because i usually eat quite healthily, my body definitely responded to the junk and to the overload.

it's amazing how our bodies can react and speak to us. i know exactly how well i ate the previous day when i wake up in the morning. several mornings last week my body literally felt bruised - my exterior was tender to the touch and my interior felt insulted.  my cough that started three weeks ago lingered and my energy level was low. on sunday i decided i would no longer allow my emotions to control my body.

i will always, always relish occasionally treating myself to (and even more occasionally gorging on) food that i know isn't the best for me. i just will. but i will also always, always continue to work on eating mindfully, on syncing my mind, body and heart into harmonic synergy. i'm so grateful for my healthy body and for the mortal opportunity to learn how to control the carnal.