on Tuesday, February 11, 2014

it just so happened that my sister saren and her family were in southern california the same saturday as me! they had just finished a cruise that left from and returned to long beach, so we made plans to meet up in san diego. it was so great to be able to spend some time with them after my race. i love these looslis so so so!

we went to pt. loma (how have i never been there before in other trips to san diego?? it is absolutely breathtaking – views of the vast ocean on one side and the city and mountains on the other – blew me away), some cool tidepools, and the sea lion beach in la jolla.
{somehow there’s no pictures of jared or ashton! but they were there too.}

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golden hour was delicious, and the sunset was so lush. saren and i are the bookends of our family – oldest and youngest – and i love that we get to be such beloved sisterfriends will all those siblings in between. she’s the most amazing woman, i tell you. love love loved being with her and her family – that saturday afternoon was a heaven-sent serendipity.

on Monday, February 10, 2014

…right? two halves = a whole? okay…not really in this case.

but i did complete my second round of 13.1 miles last sunny saturday in san diego, and i beat my time from my first round, back in november 2012. and it felt like fantastic, delicious triumph.

as i ran (for one hour, forty seven minutes and forty seconds), i reflected on everything that has happened since i previously conquered this distance – it certainly has been a wild fifteen months. and as my legs kept moving and my heart kept pumping and i pushed myself faster and stronger, i felt healing in my veins.

during the last half mile, i ran to the rhythm of a song that said:
the dog days are over, the dog days are done, the horses are coming, so you better run
run fast for your mother, run fast for your father; run for your children, for your sisters and brothers
leave all your love and your longing behind - you can't carry it with you if you want to survive
and i decided run to leave some things behind and run with gratitude for what’s here and what’s ahead.

as i turned the corner to cross the finish line, i was surprised to feel totally choked up with the emotion of triumph that felt so much bigger than running a race. i sprinted the last stretch with blurred vision and every little bit of me was alive.

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brittany was also in san diego for the weekend and came to cheer me on at the finish line! can you believe what a beautiful, bright day it was (as evidenced by the squinty eyes…)?? we sat on the grass and ate free finish line food and then went to brunch at a cute little cafe in mission bay.

the dog days are over. the dog days are gone.

on Sunday, February 9, 2014

photo 1 (41)on wednesday evening, i flew to san diego with three co-workers for a conference. the mid-week change of scenery and schedule was good for my soul. also, i think my colleagues are pretty rad. we had a good time learning about exciting ways to use our online student information system, exploring the gaslamp quarter of the city, and doing work while watching the olympics in a hotel room. i quite like business travel.

i stayed in san diego an extra day, so after the conference was over on friday afternoon, i strolled solo along the waterfront and then through little italy. i practiced aloneness without lonliness.

photo 2 (41)

i sat on a bench overlooking san diego bay at sunset, sipped coconut steamed milk and worked on finishing my book, the horse and his boy (i am working on an item on my bucket list – reading all the chronicles of narnia). i read the most beautiful chapter, where the lion aslan makes his first appearance in this, the third book of the series.

the boy shasta has found himself alone in a dark and unfamiliar place, riding an aimless horse through dripping trees and icy winds, a heavy heart pushing tears down his cheeks, not knowing at all where the road he is moving along is leading. he notices sounds that indicate that some creature is walking beside him in the dark, but his fear of this unknown fellow traveler is dispelled as their conversation begins. the creature tells shasta that he is the lion that has intercepted his journey in several previous scenarios, and helps the boy to understand that those interceptions seemed hostile but were in fact in shasta’s best interest – for example, the lion chased shasta and his friends to give them “strength of fear” to get some place just in time to give a crucial warning to many in danger.  the lion walks with shasta through the dark and cold until it is morning, and it is from this great, golden beast that the light of day is generated.

i believe that i always have a fellow traveler along dark, dripping roads with very uncertain destinations. and i’m figuring out more and more how my journey leading to and from those roads has been intercepted in ways that have seemed terrible but actually are pushing me through experiences that miraculously precipitate eventual glory.

on Tuesday, February 4, 2014

pizza

josephine and i have started a little mid-week tradition of making pizza together (last week we had to mix it up a little since i was juicing!). a couple of weeks ago we made butternut squash and sage pizza, and tonight we made lemon, blackberry and prosciutto pizza. mmmm boy. (i should’ve taken a picture either/both times – our pies have been tasty & pretty!)

i mean, here’s the thing. i’m pretty sure i love pizza more than 90% of the world population. i think it’s the best kind of comfort food, and it makes me feel really happy. no matter what happens, i’ve always got pizza…!

and while remembering this quote tonight, i remembered several others i’ve found encouraging lately. (my mom is the sweetest and sends me emails loaded with good quotes.) here’s some wednesday inspiration:

we have no right to ask when sorrow comes, "why did this happen to me?" unless we ask the same question for every moment of happiness that comes our way. 
-author unknown

we must embrace pain and burn it as fuel for our journey. 
-kenji miyazawa

sour and bitter enjoy it

a bend in the road is not the end of the road... unless you fail to make the turn. 
-author unknown

the future is as bright as your faith.
-thomas s. monson

happy thoughts

also – this song. it’s on repeat in my head! keeps me feeling positive:

on Sunday, February 2, 2014

sometimes i just feel like i am served up a solid bout of hard luck. and although i have so, so much to be grateful for (even or especially the hard stuff) and truly strive to see the good in everything (because it’s there!), there are periods of times where the tough really piles up and it just feels crappy.

january was not my best month. in the midst of emotional dullness and sharpness, my brand new iphone screen shattered, i developed an ulcer on my eyeball (yes, that’s a thing, and the antibiotics are very expensive!), work became incredibly overwhelming, i learned that i will need to buy a new car (very complicated dmv situation), and some exciting plans to look forward to fell through. {this feels really complainy, and i know – first world problems}

i’m just glad a new month has come. in february, i am going to push myself to chose happiness and relish challenges. i am going to decide to be empowered rather than saddened by aloneness. i am going to practice living in the present rather than worrying about the past or the future.

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yesterday, after recognizing the blossoming splendor of a glorious and clear day at temple hill, i spent four and a half hours in the temple. completely shut off from the world, i got to peer into peace and perspective, and i felt tranquil and alive interacting with beautiful people striving to be good. i think that first day of a new month started things off well to kiss the hard luck goodbye.