rule for the last week in sf: don't take pictures

i soaked in my last days fully. and just stole a few pictures from others who documented the splendor and fun.

thursday - i went to the botanical gardens in golden gate park and sat on a bench in a field of wildflowers and another on top of a bluff overlooking lush california vegetation. i love love love the botanical gardens. there is no way i could describe how beautiful it all was that thursday afternoon - a deliciously gorgeous surprise of beauty at every turn. yes - that description is so pastel compared to reality.

friday - i biked around angel island with some friends. this is something i had been wanting to do for ages. we drove to tiburon, took the ferry, cruised around the 5 mile perimeter road, sat on the grass at the cove and had a picnic, then explored devastatingly charming tiburon for a while before heading back to the foggy city. it was just spectacular, all of it - the salty air on the ferry, the insanely beautiful views streaming past me as i felt so alive on my bike, the shops and alleys and little while chapel on top of the hill in town, the wildflowers on a path we found by serendipity, the goldenness of golden hour on that little hilly peninsula. um, seriously. it was to die for (pictures are sadly unrepresentative).

saturday - after i took one last run along ocean beach, we waited in line for two hours to eat brunch at the red door cafe in pacific heights. it was worth the wait. it was such a san francisco dining experience, complete with outstanding food and a flamboyant, crass host wearing hot panks and a sparkly hat. the presentation was like art and the decor was creepy. after, we went to the north beach festival which was huge and awesome, and took one last trip the special rooftop.

sunday - i had the blessed opportunity to attend the baptism of a great guy who has been meeting with the missionaries for months and a "why i believe" fireside afterwards, where recent converts share their stories and testimonies. it was incredibly wonderful. man oh man, I LOVE BEING A MORMON.

on sunday night i drove around running errands and dropping stuff off and my heart was doing weird things. a twisting, beating, streaming pre-eminent longing.

see you in two months, my city. until then, here's the agenda. basically my life is awesome.

• the past couple of days - hanging out with my parents in park city (wildflower hikes in their mountain backyard, cruising in dad's 1967 alfa romeo convertible, staying up late pillow talking with mom, dodo lunch mommy date/zoom lunch daddy date, shopping, pedicures, etc)
• june 22-26 - canada (including glacier national park on the way, calgary and banff)
• june 28 - one rocking night in new york city
• june 29-july 3 - driving across the country with my favourite person (stops in palmyra, niagra falls, kirtland, chicago, nauvoo, minneapolis and mt. rushmore)
• july 4-15 - bear lake with the whole family (the best time of life, for reals)
• july 16-25 - serve in a remote village in guatemala (and maybe have some adventures afterwards? probably)
• rest of july - bear lake with friends and family

august is still to be determined. i promise it will be real good. hooray for summer!

before and after

budget to decorate my room allowed for: a friend's leftover yellow paint, 2 paintbrushes, a drop cloth and some sand paper and a new pillow and sheet.

this week i left this corner of home to a summer intern and left the city by the bay for two months.

 

i realized that my 10.5 months in this house is the longest i have lived anywhere since i was 18.

 

i've long adored (as the ward members call it) "the dollhouse," but this past week i recognized that it is actually beloved (a nearly sacred place) and will always live in me as a home that built me.

 

on my last night i stood on the roof with a 360 degree sunset (purple behind, orange in front) and felt amazing gratitude for all these crazy months - for the adventures and the rejections and the nights crying the car and the glorious jump-out-of-my-skin happy days and the dark, heartrending moments and the new friends and fierce love for the city and for my deepened spirit.

 

this picture was taken within minutes of arriving at my new home on august 2, 2010. little did i know... this place is now part of my fabric.

quarter of a century

i got to spend my birthday in sunny san diego with some of my very most favourite people. they got me a pinata and a lot of candy.

  

my brother is tall. we had a barbeque on the deck after church and then rigged up the pinata.

 

it was quite a feat to burst that thing open, but the raining sweets in the end were worth it. we just sat on the grass and ate candy and had a quick dance party.

 

eli and julie were in san diego for julie's family reunion! i was so glad to have them around for (cup)cake and ice cream - made even happier with sparkler candles and candy on the icing.

 

my roommates and i were planning to get together for a treat on tuesday to commemorate some moving out and moving in. when i walked around the corner to the ice cream place, they started singing "happy birthday"! and turns out some friends were invited to come celebrate. emily made me a sign out of a grocery bag and stuck it by the front door of the shoppe. what a treat! i had been in bed sick all day so it was an especially sweet surprise.

 

it was a really good birthday.

 

for the first time, this year i actually felt like i am getting older. growing up i had some hard and disappointing birthdays, because i always wanted it to be perfect and all about me. as my expectations have waned and my maturity has waxed, i have come to really enjoy trying to serve others and just feeling love for people i love on my day of birth. through it all, i've always looked forward to celebrating another year lived triumphantly and another year to be alive - and for the first time, this time i felt a shred of dread connected to my birthday. i intend to dismiss that completely and relish the experience of getting older.

 

i think this year - my 25th on this planet - is going to be the best yet.

socal: seaworld and an armenian wedding

when i heard my friend jonathan was getting married on june 11 in los angeles, i decided to scheme up a socal adventure to make it to his wedding. my plans changed a little along the way but turned out fantastic.

 

i flew into san diego, where my brother noah and his family recently moved, and took care of the kids for a couple days. on thursday i got to use the season passes and bring mckay and lyla to seaworld. it was my first time, and the kids showed me around, and it was super. maybe my eyes welled up a tad at the spectacles of the dolphin show. on friday i hung out with the kids at home. babysitting (which in this case is just playing with some of my most favourite people) made my trip to southern california free!

 

saturday morning i left san diego at 5:30am to make it to jonathan and polin's early sealing in the los angeles temple. i've said it before and i'll say it again - temple sealing = heaven. i stayed after for an endowment session. the la temple is really cool inside.

 

 

after the session, i cruised down to santa monica and had some lunch on the beach at the pier. jonathan's new bride is armenian, and in the early afternoon the cultural wedding traditions started to kick in. we went to a party at polin's house, where there was lots of dancing and gift-giving rituals and pictures. it was so fun! in between the party and the reception, a group of us friends-of-jonathan went to griffith park in glendale. the views were stunning, and the weather was 100% perfect.

 

can you see the hollywood sign right above my head?

 

 

armenian wedding receptions = sparkly things, really fancy dresses, outrageously long eyelashes, obscene amounts of delicious food and never-ending dancing. i had to leave about 10:45 to drive back to san diego, but i heard the party went on until 2am!

 

 

 

serious fun. i'm so glad i got to be a part of jonathan's special day, and i'm so happy for this new mr. and mrs.!

also. i loved being in la and sd, but my conclusion is firm - norcal > socal.

sad turned glad

so - this happened:

you can't really adequately tell how crunched up the car is, but it's totaled. r.i.p. mercedes. when the cop told me it was probably a goner, i started crying. i was really shaken up from the accident (smashed from behind out of no where on the bay bridge) and i was remembering all the good times associated with this car. my mom chauffeured me everywhere in it as a kid, and since it became mine it has gotten me around a lot of places. the mercedes has cruised through so many roadtrips, held a lot of laughter and tears, and holds sweet memories in its corners. i think what i will miss most is the car phone. car phone! pure awesome novelty in 1997.

 

on tuesday i went down to the california highway patrol office to pick up the collision report. i left a little later than i should have and ended up running down 8th street where the tenderloin meets soma (super sketchy hood) to get to the office before it closed. if you ever want some extra compliments or are needing any sort of self-esteem boost, run through this area, preferably with a yoga mat sticking out of your bag. "hey gorgeous, you do yoga??" - more than one or twice. one guy ran along with me and after asking me some questions with the ghetto ultra-flirty tone said, "we're gonna make it on time together, beautiful, me and you." and he ran along side me until his blinged out belt buckle fell off, he had to stop to grab it and he fell too far behind. "i hope i see you again, gorgeous!"

 

i made it in the nick of time and it was just a funny adventure. i decided to walk to grace cathedral for yoga and as i sorta just meandered in the general right direction, i came across a building i discovered a few months ago, my favourite in san francisco:

the grafitti is super awesome and yes, that is furniture coming out of the windows. i love the funkiness of it all so much. bright teal couch out of the 4th floor bay window and an old tv set on teetering off the roof - why not??

 

i made my way to market street and happened upon some of the best street performers i've ever seen (that's saying something big). these guys on the piano and clarinet were going for it. playing and improvising with ruthless passion. i loved it! i walked and took in the city and panted up the huuuuge hill to the cathedral and my spirit felt genial to be in its place in san francisco. have i ever written on my blog that i really like this city??

what could have been a frustrating inconvenience (going downtown to pick up the collision report) turned into an amusing, blithe, glorious evening.

francisco-isms

the view from alamo square on saturday night after a rainy day

the other day i was waiting for the bus in the castro. a girl with curly hair and a red peacoat was playing her guitar and singing on the street corner with her case open in front of her for spare change. the lights of bars and restaurants were lit up and crackling and quirky people of every kind were coming and going. the girl's crooning was a good soundtrack to the bustle. soon, a clearly homeless man walked in front of our street performer, and without hesitating, began to dance. he was dirty and wild and big and there on the corner he performed an extremely heartfelt interpretive dance. he closed his eyes and moved with astonishing grace, sinking to the ground for a pose or two, just really giving it his all. and people, slightly bemused but not enough to pause, kept going on their way with their own oddities peeking out of the pockets of their selves.

sometimes i feel like the city of san francisco's mantra is: be who you are and own it. this is a powerful lesson this place has taught me, and i'm grateful for it.

other francisco-isms noticed as of late:

-i went to the ballet (the little mermaid) with the woman i work for and weeped from devastating beauty. the war memorial opera house where the san francisco ballet performs (as well as symphony hall) is in the middle of the rough part of town (i have been in sketchy places in big cities before, but nothing is quite like the tenderloin). that juxtaposition is interesting. the city bursts with culture both refined and otherwise.

-i found a deal for hot (bikram) yoga classes and went to my first class a while ago. for 90 minutes i sweat my face off in a room full of wannabe mystics. it was intense. in that dimly lit, sweltering box, people found some major peace and detox and i was fascinated. and really hot. the hippie-ish sentiment constantly wafting through sf is fun.

-my friend discovered a place where you can get a good hour long massage for twenty bucks. the windows are covered in newspaper and it looks super dodgy. everyone inside is chinese and they give you chinese herbs and teas and a chinese massage. mostly, it was a good experience, especially because it was a funny adventure. did you know that 1/3 of san francisco's inhabitants are asian? i like the oriental hints and flairs around the bay.

-one of my favourite things about the city is that there are so many pretty lookout points to take in sweeping views. on saturday i gazed at the sprawl of san francisco from two choice spots with a new friend. the sky was churning after a day of rain. the light bright builidings of this town are bathed in different lights and slants of sun and it's romantic and sensational and well, i really love it here if you can't tell.

there is a ubiquitous conflict in my mind between 1) the clear, strong impression i had to come to san francisco and 2) the seeming lack of things coming together or progressing for me in this place. 1) and 2) butting heads, trying to make sense of each other. it seems logical to assume that the intensity of the feeling that got me here was tied to something big waiting for me here (i don't know, job, husband, maybe??)... but the other day as these 2 were duking it out in my psyche, i realized that maybe the sheer, unadulterated love that i have for this place, in and of itself, is reason enough for me to be here. the fact is that for now, me and san fran are hand and glove - a match made in heaven, MFEO. yes, i guess at least for now, that is enough.

i'm getting ready to leave the city for two months, and oh! i will miss it.

memorial day weekend

a fantastic memorial day weekend was made up of these three:

 

#1 - a little overnight visit to sacramento, where i got to go through the temple with my friend keri and sleep over at my new friend rachelle's house:

  

keri was receiving her own endowment, and it was so exciting to be with her. rachelle and her family were the most gracious hosts. i liked the drive there (with sunset) and back (with rain).

#2 - a last-minute visit from friends who drove from provo to hang out with me and jae:

i loved having megs and sarah in town. chinatown, corona heights, city hall, sunday morning at the beach, sunday afternoon on my roof, lots 'o' laughs.

#3 - a quick roadtrip down the coast with josephine:

we cruised to gorilla bbq in pacifica, which i have been wanting to try for ages, and brought our grub to the beach for a picnic. we walked out on the pier, learned about crab fishing, took in the views and then got back on the road...

we made it to half moon bay and walked out on the jetty and watched fishers and surfers. it was a gorgeous sunny memorial day!

we found a secret spot on some cliffs to eat the rest of our bbq. it was astonishingly pretty. we finally found the spot where the mavericks surf competition happens and strolled along the beach.

 

 

i really, really, really (reeeeeally) love northern california.