mindful eating

everyone who’s had pretty much any interaction with me in the last two years knows that i only eat sweets on holidays. i tell everyone about this little rule because it keeps me accountable. yes, i am liberal with my holidays (flag day totally counts! and my goodness, vive la france on bastille day!) and i occasionally push the limit on what is considered a “sweet,” but for the most part, i’ve been non-holiday dessert free for over 750 days. and i’m pretty proud of myself.

here’s the thing. i have had an actually very legitimate addiction to sugar in my lifetime. truly, i dare you to find someone with a bigger sweet tooth. i knew i needed some sort of framework to rein it in when i realized one evening, feeling quite ill sucking on a waxy sweedish fish, that i’d bought and single-handedly consumed an entire bag of candy every single day that week. so i decided – sweets only on holidays. and i’ve been empowered by this choice and have impressed myself with my devotion to it. and when those holidays roll around, do i ever enjoy my treats!

{side note – my first birthday after going sweet-free, i ate an entire pinata of candy. seriously. i let my niece and nephew each have a couple of pieces of candy and conquered the rest on my own. the next day on the way to work i had to pull over on the side of the road to throw up in the gutter. lesson learned. now i’m careful to not go hog wild on holidays!}

though i’m quite proud of my ability to turn down sweets, i have realized that my somehow compulsive need (and really, love) for gluttony has gravitated me towards other indulgences. a whole bag of nuts or peanut-butter-filled pretzels…or seconds and thirds at a party because hey, i didn’t have any cake! i find myself stuffing myself with non-sweets, which pretty much cancels out the health benefits and the self-control empowerment from cutting sweets out!

so i’ve decided to work on learning to always savor my meals, to slowly relish the sensations of taste, to never eat just for the sake of eating without enjoying the experience, to practice mindful eating. my body and my brain can strike beautiful harmonies if i connect them together like cogs in my mortal clock.

twelve days ago i started a 28-day challenge as a kick start to de-toxify my body and begin engraining healthy, savoring habits. week one i ate only fruits, vegetables and nuts and this week i’ve added in legumes, soy and fish. i’m very conscious about everything i consume, both type and portion, and i’m letting my taste buds process and bask in sensation. i’m thinking about my attitude toward food and how it effects my mood, about the genius of all the tastes and colors and textures that god has provided, and a lot about will-power and self-discipline.

yes, i’ve found many life lessons from mindful eating – i’ve pondered on and learned about the power of giving up a fleeting desire for a greater goal, about the correlation of feeling with action, about the great negative power of exceptions, about how it’s okay to keep starting over if we are indeed starting over and improving, and about how not only taste but all other sensations can and should be savored, how moments and relationships and views should be relished.

twelve days down and sixteen to go – and they say a habit is created at twenty-one, right? i’m determined to build a lifestyle of mindful eating and to allow those sensibilities to bleed into a lifestyle of overall savoring.